Boobs and Poop

I laugh at myself every time I consider the fact that we live in Diamond Bar . It's not just that it's so suburban, or that we're living this totally boring family-focused life here. In my early twenties, I worked for a British curling iron operation. I worked for the heavily-scrutinized North American division, where under the guidance of an over-eager salesman-turned-CEO I drove to Diamond Bar from Westlake once a month to conduct sales meetings. It was one of those "many hats" situations wherein it mattered not that I was the marketing coordinator, I was convinced that the health of our business depended on my driving 120 miles round trip to deliver a sales presentation to a group of rowdy hairstylists each month. I was too young to question any of this then. Anyhow, each month as my coworker and I made the long trek to Diamond I'd joke about having to travel to "Bumble F**k Egypt" for irrelevant meetings. To my mind, Diamond Bar was not a pla...

I recently had the pleasure of “e-meeting” a fellow mommy blogger and kindred spirit. Leah, the creator of And1MoreMakes3.com , uses her blog as a platform to discuss mental health issues, using her own experiences as a springboard into the larger discussion of mental health for moms and others in the UK. Her tone is frank, open, approachable and light. She makes the topic of mental illness less scary by virtue of her attitude about it. She suffered from depression and anxiety for over 10 years, and now considers herself a “survivor.” Her blog is an extension of her own journey to mental wellbeing, as well as a platform for sharing with other people that it is ok to feel this way and to get help. By using her own journey as the example , she shows her readers the benefits of facing mental illness and fighting it. She helps remind those who have forgotten that there is hope, and it is possible to take control. There’s no shame in suffering a mental illness, or an invisib...

To get through the pregnancy and maintain some semblance of comfort, I incorporated a variety of strangely soothing activities into my daily life. Some became habits and have now outlasted the pregnancy. Although I am happily not pregnant, I still do all of these things: 1. Sleep with a pillow between my legs. 2. Weep for no reason, often out of nowhere. 3. Wake up every 2-4 hours, sometimes for no apparent reason. 4. Eat at strange times of the day and night. 5. Eat cereal. 6. Forget everything. 7. Take prenatal vitamins.

Figuring out what I was going to do for "maternity leave" was so scary for me! I really felt lost. It took me a lot of research and talking through obstacles with friends before feeling confident that I'd filled out forms correctly and wouldn't somehow get penalized for taking time away from work for the baby. I was scared of being judged or perceived as lazy for taking too much time, or that I'd be an unfit mother if I didn't take enough time. And I worked for a company without a traditional HR department, so it was difficult to unearth the right information for me and hash out a plan. Actually, one of the main sources of stress for me was trying to create my plan for leave and ultimately returning to work. When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to wait until I'd made it through the first trimester before telling anyone at work that I was in the family way. But I can't keep my own secrets to save a life, so everyone in my department and a few o...

This image was taken from this list of offensive memes on mommyish.com .  After 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding and refusing to give the baby formula, I decided to bottle feed her formula last Saturday. It was weird, and I liked it. My husband was surprised and told me that from his perspective it seemed like I just flipped a switch, all of a sudden. Even when I got really sick two weeks ago and should have been on serious antibiotics, I just felt weird about introducing her to formula. But for some reason on Saturday morning, I was on fire and ready to try it. I mean I'd been thinking about it - mainly because now that I've been working again, I want to drink coffee all day. I've been so so so sick of having one measly cup of coffee in the morning and then worrying about my caffeine intake throughout the day. And now that our baby is sleeping like a champ most nights, I want to have wine with my husband on the back patio and enjoy my guiltiest of pleasures, an...

Some may be surprised that I decided to write about this. It's personal stuff. But after a lot of thought, I decided to share anyway because I found something really beneficial to my health. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I have struggled with anxiety and depression at different times throughout my life. Anyone who sort of knows me has probably heard me talk about this and been surprised. You may fall into that second category now. I'm naturally a fairly nervous person. What may seem very small and insignificant things to some can send me into a tailspin. I may worry over a mistake on a work project or something stupid I said at a party for weeks after the incident. I get stomach aches when this happens. I give just as much attention to worrying about the future as I do the past, and it results in even more stomach aches. In my late twenties, I was pretty sick of feeling sick to my stomach from all this worrying all the time. So I started seeing a therapis...

I am eating a delicious egg, bacon, bagel and avocado breakfast with Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee in an adorable cup from Anthropologie (last year's Christmas gift from mom-in-law). I have two candles going and I am enjoying a nice morning catching up on news, writing and filling my stomach before the work day starts. Our family nanny was able to come a little early today and give me this time to myself. And I want to be more excited about it... As always somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, there is this nagging concern that I am not spending my time wisely. There are other things I ought to be doing, that I should be doing, that I am supposed to be doing. In my older years, I realize that I have spent so much of my life believing I had to spend my time a certain way, to maintain order in the universe; that time spent having fun was time wasted. That I was always to be busy in some pursuit of something. I have often had strange and very extreme feelings of guil...

I like to joke and say that I breastfeed because it's cheap and easier than dieting. What makes me an asshole is that this is not really a joke. These were the two motivating factors behind my decision to start breastfeeding.

I officially submitted my letter of resignation... after months of mulling over exactly what to do. I think I knew I wasn't going back when I left for maternity leave, but I was afraid to acknowledge it. Somewhere deep down, I believed that if I were to quit my job, I'd be making some statement against working women. And the idea of not going back to work after maternity felt so final. Like it'd be the last decision I'd ever make for myself. I finally resigned, and it was strange but oddly freeing. In my letter to the company, I asked that they make my final day November 2nd (to coincide with the last day of PFL benefits). So as of November 2nd, I have been officially unemployed and thought I would be completely without an income. But I'd been having conversations and advertising my availability for writing, editing and proofreading contract work, and some work has come in.  I've also been looking for a flexible, creative, stimulating, part-time job where I ...

On a recent trip to visit family, I fed the baby in front of my 5-year-old niece who had plenty of questions. She wanted to know how and why I was feeding my daughter. I explained to her that we are mammals, like cows and dogs and whales. That all mammals have mammary glands and produce milk. Some women feed their babies with the milk, and that's what I'm doing. She seemed to understand most of what I was saying, and she was immediately concerned with my privacy. We were in the women's bathroom of a restaurant and I was just standing in front of the sink as I fed the baby and answered her questions. She began looking for a place for me to sit down, and as we left the bathroom she found a bench in a secluded area of the restaurant and suggested I go there next time. This moment surprised me - I felt a little annoyed at myself for going into the bathroom at all! In this case, I did have my cover but didn't use it at the dining table because my dad and older brother were...

I'd like to share a prayer penned by one of my heroes, Tina Fey, in her book Bossypants .  She so eloquently explains her wishes for her own daughter, I don't dare compete with my own. Plus, there's only one key difference between my wishes for my daughter and Tina's wishes for hers: I'm not worried about tattoos. Baby girl's mom and dad both have ink, so I'm sure she'll find tattoos lame anyway. And now, the immortal words of Tina Fey:  First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be beautiful but not damaged, for it’s the damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with beer. Guide her. Protect her when crossing the street; stepping onto boats; swimming in the ocean; swimming in pools; walking near pools; standing on the subway platform...

It has been hard to find good support groups and organizations for new moms out here in the Pomona Valley area! A lot of searching online lead me to La Leche League but I really couldn't find anything else. That is until I stumbled upon two groups using an app called Meetup . MOMS  (Moms Offering Moms Support) is an international organization dedicated to providing support to stay at home moms during the day, when moms are often isolated. I was surprised at how hard it was to find my local chapter (probably because members are busy being moms and not actively marketing the group...). I found a chapter for the next town over via Meetup and contacted them. They directed me to the MOMS web site so I could find the Diamond Bar chapter. I went to the web site, filled out a form and got a response within a few hours. There was some paperwork and a $25 (annual) fee to join. I took care of that part last week and attended my first group meeting yesterday at the Cal Poly Pomona pumpk...

I am so proud of myself for this one! My cousin is having her first child in December and her baby shower later this month. Since I just had my first in August (and am still reeling from the reality of recovery) I wanted to do something to help her in the first couple of weeks home from the hospital. My first two weeks home were quite challenging and I was floored by some of the items I needed to care for myself... like stool softener! So I did my best to put some of these items together in a pretty package for the mommy-to-be. I was able to find everything in a quick trip to Target. But anyone who wants to replicate the idea can do so frugally by making more stops. You can certainly get a cheaper gift box and stickers from Michael's or a party supply store. I went with bright pink from Target because the box was the right size and I love bright colors. It's my hope that she won't even need most of this stuff. But if she does, she won't have to run out to CVS (or ...

I'm sure I'll circle back to this topic often! Breastfeeding in public. I've done it. I love it. I support it for all. I think all places of employment, public bathrooms and more should be retrofitted with Nordstrom-style mommy rooms for breastfeeding. But I can't muster up the gumption to do it in front of any male family members. In fact, while I'm comfortable in front of friends or almost any female visiting me in my own home, there are female family members I'm not sure about. Would I whip out a boob to feed my daughter in front of my mother-in-law? If it were just us and in my home, I probably would. But I might feel a little weird, or pause first. And if we were at her house, I would probably go in the other room to feed the baby. In front of my father-in-law, my father, either of my brothers or any other male family member? Close male friends? No way, man! I have fed the baby in public, in plain view of many a male passerby and it didn't bother me...