Boobs and Poop

I'm back! I took a break, and then an even longer break. I lost my confidence and I guess my voice too. In reviewing my last post - from March! - I can see that my thinking was not as sharp or clear as I'd like. I have a lot to say but am really nervous about saying it or writing it. The truth is that as much as I seem to want to do this, blogging is very hard for me. I have in my recent past really hurt people's feelings with my writing. I have also taken some personal risks and wrote things that later embarrassed me. Worst of all, I've both hurt other people and embarrassed myself at the same time with my writing. Sometimes I guess I'm fearful I'll make the same mistakes again... or if I'm really honest about it, I feel as though I don't deserve the chance to write about whatever I want to now because of the mistakes I made then. There was also an incident. A short, brief conversation. Not even a conversation... my mother made a passing commen...

So I marched ... I wasn't particularly interested in marching until about 2 weeks prior to the event, when my sister-in-law said she wanted to check it out. I started to wonder if I should go too? I knew a lot of people who would be going to different Women's March events all over the country and started to get early onset FOMO, and I hate missing out. I don't usually march or participate in protests, rallies or anything of the sort. I used to. For that reason, many people are surprised to find how apolitical I actually am these days. When I was younger, I was very involved - CSPAN was my ESPN. I worked for Environment California, I interned for my congressman in Washington, D.C. and I was a proud, proud elected officer of my YMCA Youth and Government program in high school. I was very interested in the political process and public policy. My interest in my youth stemmed from my reverence for anything "anti." Wanting to be involved in the political proces...

We have made many changes and my life has been completely without any routine for the past year. We moved out here when I was pregnant, had the baby, then I decided not to go back to my job and have decided to go back to school... and of course, I'm shooting for a spot in a very competitive program and have a ton of prerequisites to meet. If you're an avid Boobs and Pooper, you've already read all about it . My taking classes and tutoring students are only possible thanks to two reliable childcare options we now have during the week: the assistance of a part-time nanny and a part-time spot at an awesome daycare. To say I was excited to get back to a routine and let some other people deal with my baby is an understatement. I was elated all that first week. For the first time in forever, I had my own schedule and am able to "do me" periodically throughout the week. That wonderful feeling of elation was eradicated within that same week. The Saturday follow...

The owner (and unknowing recipient of my buried feces) from whom we rented a cabin  finally left her review : Nice little family! Kept to themselves the whole four days Could have taken more care not to scratch the wood floor when moving furniture around Apart from that, they were easy guests to host  July 2016 Phew! By the skin of our tushies, we got away with it.

This somehow insanley relevant image was pulled from this article .  We like to use Air BnB or VRBO in lieu of the traditional hotel room when we travel with the baby. Having a kitchen and a separate-ish sleeping space for the baby is critical, especially for longer trips. We didn't have the option to lodge with family this time and so Air BnB it was. This particular Air BnB experience wasn't so great... This isn't a formal review, as I think some of our experience wasn't about the cabin or the owner - we were just woefully unprepared for the rustic cabin experience with a crawling baby. I also remembered Topanga Canyon being a little more centrally located than it is. I didn't recall the winding canyon roads being so long, or nauseating. We both ought to have known better because we both lived nearby for many years. I, however, was the one who went through the process of booking this accommodation on Air BnB. So I feel responsible for the misery of our poo...

I laugh at myself every time I consider the fact that we live in Diamond Bar . It's not just that it's so suburban, or that we're living this totally boring family-focused life here. In my early twenties, I worked for a British curling iron operation. I worked for the heavily-scrutinized North American division, where under the guidance of an over-eager salesman-turned-CEO I drove to Diamond Bar from Westlake once a month to conduct sales meetings. It was one of those "many hats" situations wherein it mattered not that I was the marketing coordinator, I was convinced that the health of our business depended on my driving 120 miles round trip to deliver a sales presentation to a group of rowdy hairstylists each month. I was too young to question any of this then. Anyhow, each month as my coworker and I made the long trek to Diamond I'd joke about having to travel to "Bumble F**k Egypt" for irrelevant meetings. To my mind, Diamond Bar was not a pla...

... a baby came out of my vagina! She's looking at me right now. She has teeth. She has a voice. She can take a few steps on her own before falling over. She is so awesome. She has completely stolen my heart and my identity. I am not the person I once was, and I have decided to acknowledge that this is a good thing. The person I once was was far unhappier than any one person deserves to be. She has taught me to be happier. She has also flipped my world up-side-down and inside-out. Words do not take on the same meaning... Insecurities run deeper, but my will to overcome is much stronger. I am so grateful I am her mom.

I was raised in a time so far removed from the 1800s' pillars of the cult of "true womanhood" that growing up I truly believed it was shameful for a woman or mother to not work. If she were at home, either as a homemaker or mother (or more than likely both), she should still be able to "pull her weight" and be employed too. I don't know exactly why I have been so hard on other women throughout my life, but another of the many things motherhood has taught me is that I was part of the problem. Meaning, I was part of this whole culture that devalues anything feminine and encourages women to "act like men" in order to be successful. There was a very recent time when I bought into that old-timey concept that woman equals inferior unless she can be a man... and a woman too, of course. Because she's not really a man, after all. She's less than a man - her only chance at success is to act enough like a man that in some moments other men forget...

I was pregnant when we got married in April 2015; so for the past year I've been looking forward to our 1-Year Anniversary. We've been planning to drop the baby off at my parents' place in Henderson, NV and spend some time on the Las Vegas strip. But a new idea started to take shape in early March... My husband and I are fortunate and his parents love babysitting. We got to take a small "just us" trip and spend a night alone for my 32nd birthday. We decided to be as alone as possible without going totally remote to a walk-in campsite. We found a KOA that rents small cabins in Santa Paula, CA (about 30 minutes away from my in-laws' place). And thanks to a processing error on their end, we bypassed the 2-night minimum and booked a studio cabin for one night. So we "glamped"... and we loved it! I never expected to fall in love with KOA, nor did I ever expect to "glamp" - but the unique date night experience was great for hubby and me. It w...

I've been having a rough couple of weeks... I've been feeling a little lost and a little insecure about this blog. I've been up in my own head and not on the keyboard. I have written regular posts, but I'm kind of forcing myself to "get it out there" so that I don't loose momentum. I've been hounding myself with the usual questions: What am I doing with my life? Was this decision to stay home, blog and work on passion projects (while raising my baby) the right one? Should I have gone back to an office, and should I take the baby to daycare? My daily routine (or lack thereof) is nothing like I might have imagined just a short year ago... Connecting with other mommy bloggers has surely helped! I think I needed some inspiration and motivation.  Talking with Leah from And 1 More Makes 3 has helped me refocus and feel excited about creating more (and different) posts. There is a lot going on with me that's left me feeling anxious about the pres...

Shaving my pubes always results in razor burn, ingrown hairs and stubble, plus an itchy and uncomfortable situation no matter what the undergarment or clothing choice.  But I've long been a routine and regular waxer.  For years, I got a full Brazilian wax every 4-5 weeks in order to keep the pubes away. I even kept up with this pubic hairstyle through the pregnancy. I, of course, took a break from waxing after the baby. Vaginal delivery and tearing, you know. I was terrified when I finally did muster up the courage to go back and get waxed. I wound up with a weird shape - a sort of hairy box around my outer labia with a thick landing strip on top. I was scared of the waxer going too close to anything that tore during delivery, so I kept insisting she leave a little more. It was getting awkward as she didn't like the idea of a customer leaving with a pube style quite like the one she'd created on me. This was probably 4 months after Bumble was born, and my...

I recently had the pleasure of “e-meeting” a fellow mommy blogger and kindred spirit. Leah, the creator of And1MoreMakes3.com , uses her blog as a platform to discuss mental health issues, using her own experiences as a springboard into the larger discussion of mental health for moms and others in the UK. Her tone is frank, open, approachable and light. She makes the topic of mental illness less scary by virtue of her attitude about it. She suffered from depression and anxiety for over 10 years, and now considers herself a “survivor.” Her blog is an extension of her own journey to mental wellbeing, as well as a platform for sharing with other people that it is ok to feel this way and to get help. By using her own journey as the example , she shows her readers the benefits of facing mental illness and fighting it. She helps remind those who have forgotten that there is hope, and it is possible to take control. There’s no shame in suffering a mental illness, or an invisib...

Watch Katharine Hepburn discuss atheism and morality. Historically, I haven't talked much about the fact that I am an atheist because this information has always been more important to the recipient than to me. Sharing my religious beliefs in conversation typically steers the conversation in one of two directions. One is invariably an attempt to change my mind on the subject through testimony; the other is an offense I didn't intend but can nevertheless not take back. I feel a little safer sharing my beliefs in this format, and the subject of religion has been on mind. I guess it's yet another on the list of things I didn't think mattered much... until I had a baby. My attitude about religion, the mystery of the unknown and morality ( Life, the Universe and Everything so to speak) will help shape hers. So here it is for the record: I don't believe in God or any gods. For a long time, I thought that this didn't matter in my daily life. And I didn'...

This image is taken from an article on Mapleleafmommy.com . What a weird day. It's baby girl's 1/2 birthday - she's 6 months old today. I'm delighted. She's having a blast and we celebrated with some new toys from Target. Another interesting rite of passage befell our happy home today - I was "let go" from a job for the first time in my life. I've been wanting to write about how hard it's been to go back to work. After the events of today, I'll now write a completely different post. I'd never even come close being fired before this morning. And typically, any bad news (especially concerning my employment) is met with fear, defensiveness or confusion. But today I happily received a very clear message. There's no bitterness or self-loathing here. I did a good job, but a local person may be better suited for the work. I was working remotely and from a different time zone - and due to the nature of the work, that put me at a di...

This image was taken from this awesome article on pileofbabies.com .  Leading up to baby girl's due date, I imagined nightmarish labor and delivery scenarios. I also worried about recovery (but mostly in terms of vanity). I had heard of tearing and episiotomies, yet I somehow convinced myself I'd be walking out of that hospital without stitches. Yes, there were times I pictured myself walking out of the hospital carrying my new baby. I tried hard not to have any specific expectations for going into labor or what it'd be like to be in labor. I just reassured myself that I'd "know" when it all started happening, then I'd be getting an epidural and there'd be nothing I could even do about the rest. A good friend of mine had told me that nothing is going to be as bad I'd imagined - I also reminded myself of her saying this quite often. About 3 days before our baby girl's due date (Friday), I had a lot of heavy discharge. I thought my wate...