Boobs and Poop

I laugh at myself every time I consider the fact that we live in Diamond Bar . It's not just that it's so suburban, or that we're living this totally boring family-focused life here. In my early twenties, I worked for a British curling iron operation. I worked for the heavily-scrutinized North American division, where under the guidance of an over-eager salesman-turned-CEO I drove to Diamond Bar from Westlake once a month to conduct sales meetings. It was one of those "many hats" situations wherein it mattered not that I was the marketing coordinator, I was convinced that the health of our business depended on my driving 120 miles round trip to deliver a sales presentation to a group of rowdy hairstylists each month. I was too young to question any of this then. Anyhow, each month as my coworker and I made the long trek to Diamond I'd joke about having to travel to "Bumble F**k Egypt" for irrelevant meetings. To my mind, Diamond Bar was not a pla...

Here's the scoop on Jennifer Lawrence and her uneven breasts. It's not a typo. I didn't mean to say Big Boobs McGee. Big Boob McGee is meant to be singular. As in the lonely McGee booby, the only one of its size. I no longer have a pair of big boobs, which would make the plural Big Boobs McGee fitting. I now have only the one big boob, not two. Prior to my pregnancy, I rocked A cups. From about age 10 until about a year ago, I was ashamed of my little boobies. I desperately wanted big boobs... I had no idea how good I had it with those little and perfectly perky things! In my A cup days, I rarely wore a bra. I could wear low-cut or deep v-neck shirts or dresses, and not worry too much about people ogling my goodies. I could wear a teeny tiny bikini and while I may get comments like "you're so skinny," I would never hear a peep about my boobs being too big for my top. I was generally very comfortable in most clothing and swimsuits. My boobs were on...

To get through the pregnancy and maintain some semblance of comfort, I incorporated a variety of strangely soothing activities into my daily life. Some became habits and have now outlasted the pregnancy. Although I am happily not pregnant, I still do all of these things: 1. Sleep with a pillow between my legs. 2. Weep for no reason, often out of nowhere. 3. Wake up every 2-4 hours, sometimes for no apparent reason. 4. Eat at strange times of the day and night. 5. Eat cereal. 6. Forget everything. 7. Take prenatal vitamins.

This image was taken from this awesome article on pileofbabies.com .  Leading up to baby girl's due date, I imagined nightmarish labor and delivery scenarios. I also worried about recovery (but mostly in terms of vanity). I had heard of tearing and episiotomies, yet I somehow convinced myself I'd be walking out of that hospital without stitches. Yes, there were times I pictured myself walking out of the hospital carrying my new baby. I tried hard not to have any specific expectations for going into labor or what it'd be like to be in labor. I just reassured myself that I'd "know" when it all started happening, then I'd be getting an epidural and there'd be nothing I could even do about the rest. A good friend of mine had told me that nothing is going to be as bad I'd imagined - I also reminded myself of her saying this quite often. About 3 days before our baby girl's due date (Friday), I had a lot of heavy discharge. I thought my wate...

Figuring out what I was going to do for "maternity leave" was so scary for me! I really felt lost. It took me a lot of research and talking through obstacles with friends before feeling confident that I'd filled out forms correctly and wouldn't somehow get penalized for taking time away from work for the baby. I was scared of being judged or perceived as lazy for taking too much time, or that I'd be an unfit mother if I didn't take enough time. And I worked for a company without a traditional HR department, so it was difficult to unearth the right information for me and hash out a plan. Actually, one of the main sources of stress for me was trying to create my plan for leave and ultimately returning to work. When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to wait until I'd made it through the first trimester before telling anyone at work that I was in the family way. But I can't keep my own secrets to save a life, so everyone in my department and a few o...

I am still processing all that happened and how much I (and everything around me) changed last year. 2015 was by far the craziest year of my life. It was so so so hard, but I was so excited about so much of it. I was miserable and elated at the same time for most of the year. I still don't think I'm ready to write about it... I'm not really ready to let the year go. But I'm also stoked to leave the discomfort and stress of pregnancy, family-full wedding events and actually giving birth far behind me. So with ambivalence I present this list of 20 major life events that occurred in 2015. Perhaps you'll instantly understand why I can't yet write about any of it... and why I have to acknowledge all of it, now. I started the year ~8 weeks pregnant. My Bachelorette Party weekend was in January (and I was obviously pregnant for it). In February, I backed my car into a parked truck and caused about $2,500 worth of damage to the trunk of my car.  My beautiful ...

Some may be surprised that I decided to write about this. It's personal stuff. But after a lot of thought, I decided to share anyway because I found something really beneficial to my health. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I have struggled with anxiety and depression at different times throughout my life. Anyone who sort of knows me has probably heard me talk about this and been surprised. You may fall into that second category now. I'm naturally a fairly nervous person. What may seem very small and insignificant things to some can send me into a tailspin. I may worry over a mistake on a work project or something stupid I said at a party for weeks after the incident. I get stomach aches when this happens. I give just as much attention to worrying about the future as I do the past, and it results in even more stomach aches. In my late twenties, I was pretty sick of feeling sick to my stomach from all this worrying all the time. So I started seeing a therapis...