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Reflecting on Halloween


Yesterday, we celebrated Halloween with our 11-week-old baby girl. We didn't dress her up in a costume, although there was some casual discussion about a daddy-daughter Kuato & George costume that never bore fruit. Instead she wore an adorable "So Cute It's Spooky" onesie and black tutu. We didn't take her trick or treating, but rather had the in-laws come over and enjoyed a somewhat fancy fall-themed dinner with Halloween movies playing in the background. We dined on Sausage and Apple Stuffed Apricot Squash and Spiralized Butternut Squash Spaghetti with red wine, and waited for the trick or treaters.

I was really not sure that we'd get any trick or treaters, but I was very hopeful. As a kid I LOVED trick or treating every year. And it wasn't even so much about the candy as it was about the adventure and freedom of the night. Even if Halloween fell mid-week, my brothers and I would dress up and go door to door with our friends. If it was cold and rainy, as it often was in the Chicago suburbs of my early youth, my mom would follow behind in the Dodge Ram van and we'd jump in and out for warmth as needed. 

But times they are a-changing. We live in a relatively secluded neighborhood, and many of the homes in our neighborhood are filled with older couples whose children flew the coop. The town also hosts several safe trick or treating events, including the Fall Fun Festival with a haunted house in the park on Halloween night. So I thought there was a chance of no one ringing the doorbell... I actually figured we'd either get none or a couple handfuls of costumed kids at the door. 

Either way, I was prepared! I had tootsie pops and stickers for those with food allergies waiting by the front door. I didn't go the extra mile and put a teal pumpkin on the porch, but I was still ready to accommodate trick or treaters with dietary restrictions. 

The doorbell rang one time, about 7:30pm. There stood a single trick or treater, a preteen gal dressed in a simple, grocery store-bought witch costume. No parents standing in the street urging a tiny tot on to the front door, but an almost-teenager trick or treating by herself. We gave her a handful of tootsie pops and wished her a Happy Halloween. I closed the front door feeling pretty disheartened. What happened to the hoards of young kids, the rowdy and awkward preteens in groups and the probably-too-old-for-this crowd of young high schoolers? Was she really it for the night? She was. The doorbell didn't ring again. 

The single trick or treater was harder to stomach than I imagine no trick or treaters might have been. It's like we got a little taste of Halloween, a teeny glimpse into how fun it might have been to pass out candy to droves of costumed kids. The image of this adolescent girl trick or treating alone on our street, which was almost deserted, describes the strange and lonely mood of the evening.  

As our little girl grows up, what will her Halloweens look like? I want to imagine her as an elementary school student planning her costume and coordinating schedules with friends, exercising her need for independence as she plots the course to the houses with the best candy. I even want to imagine her telling me that she and her friends will go trick or treating without me this year, because she's too old for a chaperone. And then off they'd go, to ring on strangers' doorbells and collect candy, while I wait for her (probably worried sick) at home. Is it strange that I want that for her? I want that more than a "safe" citywide event, if I have to pick between the two. I just don't like the idea of her not having the chance to experience the exhilaration of Halloween the way I experienced it as a kid.

I guess it's possible we just live in a low-traffic area and other neighborhoods get more visitors. Or it's possible that most of everyone around here goes to the citywide events at parks or churches to celebrate instead. We are still very new here and our daughter is so young. Maybe next year, we'll find the crowd and place ourselves in it. I just hope that the crowd will be in a neighborhood, and the children will be ringing doorbells. 

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