A Shitty Rental Experience

This somehow insanley relevant image was pulled from this article. 

We like to use Air BnB or VRBO in lieu of the traditional hotel room when we travel with the baby. Having a kitchen and a separate-ish sleeping space for the baby is critical, especially for longer trips. We didn't have the option to lodge with family this time and so Air BnB it was.

This particular Air BnB experience wasn't so great... This isn't a formal review, as I think some of our experience wasn't about the cabin or the owner - we were just woefully unprepared for the rustic cabin experience with a crawling baby. I also remembered Topanga Canyon being a little more centrally located than it is. I didn't recall the winding canyon roads being so long, or nauseating.

We both ought to have known better because we both lived nearby for many years. I, however, was the one who went through the process of booking this accommodation on Air BnB. So I feel responsible for the misery of our poor child, suffering in her pack 'n' play in a hot sticky room, with the stench of her poo as it co-mingled with the stench of ours.

The sensitive septic system was unable to handle any paper. In fact, the owner requested that we "let yellow mellow" and only flush for number two. Paper in the basket no matter what.

This wouldn't have been such an issue for a shorter trip. But we were there for 5 nights. As we veterans of Air BnB know, the owners don't send a maid service around to exchange towels or collect trash. We did our best to stay on top of the accumulating waste, which included dirty baby diapers and anything we'd used to wipe ourselves. We dusted, used our own towels and took a load of laundry to my in-laws. But we felt filthy from bones to skin, and the cabin just kind of smelled like a bathroom... We felt as though we were sleeping in a public bathroom, you know, like an airport bathroom, but in the middle of a pretty canyon.

There were other scary and inconvenient things about this cabin, such as the 50-foot incline we had to walk to get from our parking space to the cabin. Or the fact that the owner's home sat literally on top of the cabin, and the owner regularly walked through the yard. Or the fact that the bread and tortillas we brought were eaten by a squirrel or a rat. That's right, a thieving rodent was in the cabin where our daughter slept in a pack 'n' play on the floor. Ugh...

But this wouldn't be a proper Boobs and Poop post if I were to focus on those things!

One night, I believe it was the third night of our stay, I awoke and had to go pee. Without thinking, I flushed the toilet and down went the toilet paper along with my pee pee... I sighed and went back to bed thinking that since it was the one time we'll be okay.

I went back to sleep and when I awoke the following morning, my husband was already plunging away. It seems he'd made the same mistake as I and flushed his own toilet paper down the toilet. He worked away and the toilet did not officially overflow. But we were left in that awkward purgatory where the water level rises to an uncomfortable level and almost spills over before it begins to slowly lower. And then the toilet runs and runs... Will it, won't it? Will we have to bug the owner about it?

There was a point when I was in the cabin with the baby, trying to get her to nap. My husband was out and about with his family. I believe this was the morning of the big event (the reason we were in the area) and I knew our darling baby would be completely off-schedule that afternoon and evening. So I wanted her to get some sleep.

As soon as she relaxed and fell asleep, I felt an urgent need to poop. I was so scared to flush the toilet at all. Outside I went. I found a spot that I thought was pretty private and crouched. After I did my business, I cleaned myself up, buried my business and sprayed the area with bug spray.

I'm not going to lie. I felt accomplished. The baby was still soundly asleep and I'd relieved myself without having to flush the toilet.

I believe I mentioned that the owner's cabin is nestled just above the guest cabin where we stayed. I didn't think to look up before I devised my poopy plan. But when I'd finished and I did look up, I saw the owner outside her own home doing yardwork. There she stood, literally feet away from where I'd just pooped and buried it on her property.

I convinced myself she didn't see me. I later told my husband the story and did my best to convince him she did not see me.

We have yet to get an Air BnB review from her. What if she did see me? Will she write "occupant shits in the yard and buries it in broad daylight" in her review? Will other Air BnB hosts see this?

To say the least, I'm fairly apprehensive about booking any accommodations on Air BnB until I've seen a review from this host.