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I Quit!

I officially submitted my letter of resignation... after months of mulling over exactly what to do. I think I knew I wasn't going back when I left for maternity leave, but I was afraid to acknowledge it. Somewhere deep down, I believed that if I were to quit my job, I'd be making some statement against working women. And the idea of not going back to work after maternity felt so final. Like it'd be the last decision I'd ever make for myself.

I finally resigned, and it was strange but oddly freeing. In my letter to the company, I asked that they make my final day November 2nd (to coincide with the last day of PFL benefits). So as of November 2nd, I have been officially unemployed and thought I would be completely without an income.

But I'd been having conversations and advertising my availability for writing, editing and proofreading contract work, and some work has come in.  I've also been looking for a flexible, creative, stimulating, part-time job where I can work from home. It's been a strange search, but I've actually found what I think will be the perfect fit for me, which I'll share more about later.

This has been a troubling, upsetting and amazing time. When I reflect on my "former life" from this distance, I can safely admit to myself that I was unhappy working a typical day job in LA. Even though my job required creativity and problem solving skills, it was a negative working environment and I'd lost all passion and my days had become a sluggish, dull preamble to evenings of relief to be away from the office and at home with my then-fiance. I was scared to admit this before the baby because I think I was really scared to have to make a big change. The baby has forced me to change everything else about my life anyway... so here I am! Redesigning myself at age 31, and loving it. And hating it. And loving it again.

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